Homemade strip clubs can be fun

Excerpt from the middle of erotic romance novel Fiona Love, for sale in the Amazon Kindle store:


“I’m gonna have a strip club for you,” she said now.

He laughed as she disappeared into the bathroom. “What?” he yelled over the water running. Fiona emerged a few minutes later with a clean face and a toothbrush dangling from the corner of her mouth.

“I want you and your boys to come over tomorrow. I’m gonna have some strippers over. Bring money.”

“For real?” he asked, when she finished her teeth.

He watched her root through the pots and bottles on her vanity the way she did every night. His last good night kisses always tasted faintly of beauty counter. He fidgeted as she slipped absently into the shirt she’d taken to wearing around the house.

It was a gorgeously baggy, sheer white blouse. A gift from an old dear friend, she’d told him when he commented on it. A girl, she added, and grinned when the jealous wrinkle above his brow cleared.

“Yeah, but not tomorrow. Friday. I need time to do this shit right.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“The occasion is that I’m throwing you a party so make sure you show up early and be excited.”

“How was the studio today?” He whispered, rolling her under him when she ventured close enough to the bed for him to grab. He sighed happily when he lay nuzzling the scented line of her jaw. He nibbled his way into her cleavage. Her décolletage was always impressive, but today Netty had stuffed her into a push up bra, and her breasts were overflowing. “Take this off.”

“I had a lot of fun. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed it,” she said, wriggling as she dealt with her bra.

“You were in there all day. When do we get to hear the song?”

“I didn’t record a song, just a hook.” Which made two in the past few months. There were rumblings that she might come out with an album. Something she’d never confirmed or denied.

“And it took all day?” he asked, tossing red silk panties over the side of the bed. She’d told him the producer was a friend of Natty’s. He refrained from asking if she’d liked him.

“I didn’t get there ‘til almost noon.”

“You’ll be in the studio full-time soon, mark my words,” he said, voice muffled by her right breast.

Fiona didn’t answer. Two hooks did not a studio album make. Besides, she was distracted. He liked to slip into her at the end of a sentence. One sneaky little thrust, or so he thought, but Fiona felt every millimeter. Every bit of damp, pink and brown flesh reacted rapturously to his deep, sensuous stroking.

“I can’t get over it,” she whispered, when they lay recovering later.

“Well,” Daney rasped. “Some men are just naturally better lovers than others.”

Fiona laughed. “Sure enough.”

He’d meant it as a joke, but Fiona knew for a fact some men did have a more sensitive touch. Some were naturally more attentive or more intuitive about a woman’s needs. Daney seemed to have tuned into an almost youthful frequency in her. It reminded her of that flash of sexual awareness as a young girl when the first boy touches your breasts or sneaks his way into your panties. The tingles, the belly flutters, the heartbeat so loud and fast in your chest you get dizzy with excitement. Excitement and fear battle, jockeying for dominance. Fiona almost never let fear win. She hadn’t as a child, and she sure as hell hadn’t as an adult.

Had they acknowledged the rare depth of feeling they inspired in each other, they might have experienced something more, something infinitely memorable. But they didn’t because neither really believed it was possible to feel better than they felt in that moment Daney was fully lodged inside Fiona’s warm body.

A few times, Fiona had caught a certain look on her lover’s face. A look that suggested he wanted to talk seriously, but she was adept at the pleasurable art of distraction. Fiona wouldn’t even allow herself to think about why she didn’t want to entertain serious conversations, let alone start any mess.

Mess was her singular descriptor for anything resembling relationships since she found out she was pregnant, and Flora’s daddy, who she’d been very quietly dating for nearly a year, told her in no uncertain terms she was on her own.



“This is gonna be so fun!” Netty exclaimed when Fiona told her about the stripper bash. “Wear this.” She held up a completely sheer black gown with two lace flowers, one at the top and one at the bottom.

“Damn, girl. I’m in good shape, but that looks unforgiving. What’s with you and sheer shit lately? Cleo’s already starving me damn near to death.”

“Hello, dim lighting throughout? Come on! This is a sexy night. You’re the hostess.”

Fiona laughed. “So the hostess of a sexy night wears a see-through black dress with decorative shoulder and hem flowers? Tell me, does she wear underwear?”

Netty held up silk black boy shorts and a black push up bra from Vickie Seek.

Fiona shook her head. “No more push up bras. Shit’s scary.”

“Peace,” Netty answered the phone. “It’s Daney II.”

Fiona gave her the finger. “Peace.”

“Hey gorgeous. Whatchu doin’ tonight? The boys and I want you and the girls to come over and watch a movie on the new plasma.”

“Can’t. I got strippers comin’ in an hour. Thanks though.”

“What?” he laughed. “You’re having a party and you didn’t invite me?”

“No! I mean, yeah, but —”

“Well, my party can easily crash your party. You were the guest of honor. Lemme round up the boys and the toys, and we’ll be over in a few, ‘kay?”

Fiona looked at the phone buzzing in her hand and sighed. “He’s coming over. We need more strippers.”

Netty burst out laughing. “You think if there’s more tits and ass in here Daney won’t notice his doppelganger flirting with you across the room? I can’t believe you told him he could come over, player. You’re usually smoother than that.”

Fiona pretended to shoot an imaginary gun into her mouth. He hadn’t given her a chance to say anything. He’d invited himself and hung up like someone used to having his way. And in typical Tino fashion her efforts to redial were met with voicemail.

Netty and Sugar went to get the strippers after she was dressed and they’d set out the non-perishable food. She called Daney.

“You gon’ be on time?”

“I’m on my way. One more stop and I’m all yours.”

“Whatta ya gotta stop for? I got everything you need right here.”

Daney laughed softly. “I know. But what I’m stopping for is for you, not me.”

“Don’t buy me nothin’ else!” She laughed in delight. Aside from myriad bouquets of flowers and expensive European chocolates the girls got to enjoy more than she did, she’d collected a gold necklace, a pair of diamond earrings and a Gucci bag because he said she was getting crabby from purse withdrawal following a third bitchy call from her money-hoarding business manager.

“You’ll like this,” he promised.

“I like everything you give me,” she whispered.

“Your voice sounds better today.”

“Yeah? I thought so, but I still need to shut up.” And quit smoking, which she was finding rather hard to do.

“Won’t be a problem, babe,” Daney was laughing. “Much as I love talking to you I don’t think I’m gonna want a lot of conversation tonight.”

“I love the way your mind works. Did I tell you how glad I am you’re coming over?”

He made a dismissive noise. “Being with you is like being on vacation. Trust me, it’s my pleasure. My distinct, acute, intensely felt pleasure.”

Fiona laughed. “Somebody had elocution lessons today.”

He chuckled. “How’d you know? In a few months I’ll be in New York playing a mischievous escort in a Paul Haggis film.”


Daney snorted. “My manager swears it’ll be like five minutes work. Which guaranteed translates to complete and utter aggravation, but it’s not a bad little part. I even got a few lines.”

“Your first movie role?”

“No. I had a cameo in a Spanish film starring Angela Cruz.”

“Was she nice?”

“I don’t really remember. I didn’t interact with her much. I was in and out.”

“I’m glad you don’t do me like that.”

He laughed softly. “Yes, I do.”

“Hurry up.”

“Bye, babe.”



“Where’s Cleo?”

“Oh, she called to say she was staying in town with Andrea tonight. They’re at some meeting, and then it’s all about press strategy for the show. Oh, she said to tell you there’s been some problems with the changes you want made to the make out script. So if anybody from HBO calls don’t answer.”

Fiona grunted at this. HBO was being unusually firm about their need for a high action love scene. High action, my ass, she thought. She was completely naked getting fucked from behind with a scarf around her neck like reins. She’d tell them to kiss her black ass twice right in the crack before it went down like that. “Does she know we’re having a party?”

Netty nodded and grinned. “Andrea said make damn sure no one brings in or leaves with digital recording devices or cameras of any kind.”

“Who’s watching the strippers?”

“Sugar. They’re not toddlers, Fiona.”

“No, but they are strangers. Sugar’s recommendation mentioned a limited time in their acquaintance.”

“Your new manner of speaking is getting annoying.”

Daney wasn’t the only one working on his speech. Fiona was trying to de-slang hers in preparation for her extended Transplants gig. “Fuck you. I’m going to put on my net sack. Hold it down out here for me, will you?”

It didn’t take long to don her undies and the sheer sheath so Fiona lit a pinner while she tidied the bedroom. She and Daney would untidy it later. Someone knocked.

“Come in.”

“Special delivery,” said a deep voice from behind a huge brilliantly colored floral bouquet.

Fiona cooed gleefully and pounced on the blooms. She sneezed and hastily moved back. So far she’d managed to keep him from discovering she was mildly allergic. “They’re fabulous.”

He laughed. “Are you okay?”

“Yes!” But she put the flowers on a far dresser where she could admire them safely.


He’d taken a good look at what she was wearing.

“That’s some outfit you’ve almost got on.”

Fiona posed with hand on hip to angle her curves to best advantage. “You like? I figured since I’m the madam of this homemade strip club, I should dress accordingly.” She forgot posing as she pressed herself to his front and breathed on him through parted lips.

Daney moaned and captured her lips in one of those breath-stealing kisses that made her heart race like a runner and her pussy feel like it had been blown with magic dust. He ran big hands over her back and ass, grabbing the backs of her thighs to pull her into his erection. She clung to him like lint as they fed from each others mouths and rubbed until they broke a sweat.

“The flowers are just the beginning of your present,” he gasped, breaking away enough to speak. He’d already leaned forward to kiss her again when one hand began to pat down his pockets. He laughed, and caught her other hand busily investigating the growing length of his cock. “I don’t think it’s in there.”

“Yes, it is,” Fiona laughed wickedly.

“It’s in my back pocket.”

Daney enjoyed the way she shoved both hands into his pockets at once, her little hands clenched meaningfully on his ass, and the promised box. She opened it.

It was a ring. “Sapphire?”

He nodded.

“Rare,” she whispered, slipping the orange padparadscha sapphire onto her right ring finger. She turned it this way and that so the diamonds caught the light. The ring sparkled cheerfully. “Thank you,” she said simply, wrapping her arms around his neck. She hugged him tight, her legs rising to hug his hips. Daney shifted instantly to take her weight.

There was a knock at the door. Netty poked her head in. “You’re new co-star is here.”

Fiona had forgotten about him completely, but now she tugged her mouth from her beau’s, kissing his nose in apology as her legs unfolded from his waist. “Daney, baby, don’t be mad. But you have to share your strip club with this guy from my job. You know that show I was telling you about?” she teased.

“The one the tabloids are blowing up over?” Daney asked wryly. “The one trying to convince you to agree to a filthy love scene? Yeah, I think I remember. You invited him to my party?” He sounded hurt.

“No! Absolutely not. I told him I was having a party because he wanted to invite me to one, but as soon as I said the word strippers he invited himself and hung up before I could stop him. Since we work together I didn’t think it’d be politico to tell him to fuck off, you know?”

“I can’t believe you invited another man to my stripper bash.”

“Baby,” Fiona said, drawing the word into at least three syllables. “You know it’s not like that. You the one.” She kissed him gently on the lips once, twice, then laid her head on his shoulder and cuddled close as she admired her ring.

“I don’t feel like partying anymore.”

“Oh, fuck that! You comin’ out here to this party,” Netty said, busting in and grabbing him by the elbow. “Come on, Fiona,” she ordered, nodding for her to grab his other arm.

Daney and his doppelganger came face to face both surrounded by scantily clad women. The two men exchanged the nod and stared at each other. Up close the similarities between them were totally superficial: black hair, green eyes, height, but the sexiness each wore as easily as his own particular swagger, that was the biggest differentiator. Daney was the gilded older sibling, and Tino was his scruffy, lazy younger brother.

“This is him, not that one,” Netty told the strippers, and both women abandoned Tino to bum rush Daney.

“Fiona,” he said nervously, looking over his shoulder at her as they led him away.

“Don’t worry, baby. I told them it was your first time and to take it easy.”

Tino laughed as Fiona and Netty came over to warm his sides. He waited until Daney’s broad back had turned the corner then kissed Fiona’s cheek. “That’s more like it.”

Buck and Paul and another gorgeous red-haired model named Buster that Paul was managing had Daney’s back. Coincidentally, Tino had brought three guests as well. There were five strippers, two black ones, a blonde and two brunettes, all wearing G strings and high heeled platforms. Two girls’ bras were missing fabric around the nipples.

Fiona watched as two handed around the canapés she’d ordered and fetched drinks. Sugar said they didn’t mind, since she’d promised this would be an easy night, one where absolutely no sex was required, they’d been paid in advance and could keep all tips. The blonde brought over a tray holding coconut shrimp and cocktail sauce.

“Hungry?” she asked.

“Always,” said Fiona, biting down on a shrimp.

The blonde looked over at Daney, who was trying unsuccessfully not to touch either of the two women gyrating at his back and in his lap, and laughed good-naturedly. “You better rescue him, if you want him. Pepper and Cherry will wear him out quick.”

She was the one who felt worn out. She snagged one of the beers the black stripper with the ass of the world was offering. Ass of the world. Fiona had cracked up when Netty first said it, but she could see why. She tipped most of the beer down her throat as she contemplated the high, apple-shaped marvel. She finished the beer and yawned. She hadn’t got a lot of sleep last night. She’d slip off and nap for 20 minutes. No one would notice. Not with all the peppers and cherries and joys dancing around, and a growing cloud hovering near the ceiling.

Daney woke her an hour later pulling off her net sheath and black silk boy shorts.

“Mmmm,” Fiona moaned against his marauding mouth. “Baby. I fell asleep.”

“I see that. Why’d you do this if you were tired? You know you’re all I want,” he rasped, pulling her onto her hands and knees. He reached under her to palm her dampening cleft. He used one hairy knee to open hers. “You’re missing the whole party. Is this how you do? Nip off where no one can see you and wait to see who follows?”

She felt his erection nudging her, nuzzling in the moisture that welcomed him. Her body unconsciously clenched trying to draw him in. He groaned.

“Could be. Seems like it worked okay this time.”She reached around and slapped his ass, forcibly pressing him forward as he fought to stay motionless. She popped him again, hard enough to make a good loud sound. “You like my new ring?” she splayed her right hand against the headboard.

He thrust in slow, letting her feel it. He couldn’t hold the ace though. When his hips rested against the curves of her ass he drew back immediately and surged in hard.

“Jesus, girl. You’re gonna fuckin’ kill me.”

“Shut up,” she gasped; he’d caught onto a rhythm.

He groaned and came down over her back for a hot, soft moment. She writhed sinuously beneath him, working herself onto the hard heat filling her. She knew he was trying to slow down so it could last, but she couldn’t help squirming. She began to breathe through her mouth. She arched her back and reached to pull one of his hands around to stroke her clit.

“Can’t hold it?” she asked, when he stopped moving completely.

“I’m…trying to.”

She chuckled at the gritted words, and clenched her sheath teasingly around him. He rewarded her with anguished moan, and she began to play a physical game of cat and mouse. She’d hunch her body and withdraw almost to the tip then press back to push him leisurely back in. She did it fast and slow, then mixed it up with a series of both, all like velvet-lined blows on his cock.

Daney had never concentrated so hard in his life. His balls felt like they were trying to crawl inside his body. He wished for a third hand, not wanting to remove his two from her breast and the soft, eager wet heat of her sex.

Fiona knew what he wanted. She hilted him and reached back and gave his balls a firm but gentle tug. He jerked and panted then groaned out his thanks.

Neither of them could hold out much longer. Daney was primed from his interactions with the strippers. Fiona could smell the women’s perfume clinging to him, and always excited by the sight and smell of her lover she was also incredibly aroused at the thought of another woman trying to be where she was. He’d left them to find her, and she could tell that he hadn’t come.

He was always heated like this for that first nut of the night. He’d struggle not to come too fast, though she never minded, not with second and sometimes third times to look forward to.

Her body had slipped into that perfect state where you could come at any moment, but you’ve got control of it so it just feels good on top of good on top of good. But Fiona felt her mind begin to go. The pleasure was too intense, rising too steady. She was losing control of it, and soon she knew she’d stop thinking about Daney at all.

Focus, she told herself. This is Daney’s party.

But that was the problem. She was too focused, focused on the pleasure building, riding her in fast cresting waves. She could only hope he was with her and pray he didn’t stop moving before the ride was over.

“Daney,” she gasped to warn him she was close.

“Yes, yes,” he groaned, and they came within seconds of each other in a shower of shudders and gasps.

Fiona shivered when he slipped free of her body and fell forward onto her nose.

Daney dealt with the condom and collapsed beside her, pulling her into his arms as they succumbed to one of those dive down under the covers and conk out after a great fuck sleeps. Neither moved an hour later when Tino knocked and poked his head around the door.

“They still up?” Netty rasped, hoarse from smoking and yelling during beer-drinking games for minor sexual acts.

He pulled back and closed the door on an image of Fiona’s beautiful brown body protectively surrounded by Daney’s hard pale strength. “Naw. They’re out.”

Netty began to load the dishwasher. “He’s gotta fly out for a week to Miami. But he’s coming back for the party.”

Tino listened to this information with interest. He brought some beer bottles over and emptied them into the sink. He began to help Netty clean, something he hadn’t done in years, and found out Fiona didn’t plan on taking Daney to the airport. He always ordered a car.

Once they had the kitchen tight, Netty yawned. “Tha’s good. The living room’s not bad. I stayed on it during the party. Is everybody asleep or out of here?”

“My boys left with the girls, and everyone else took cabs home.” He yawned and pushed up his t-shirt to scratch at the soft hair there. “I’m tired.”

“I don’t think there are any empty bedrooms left.”

“Couch. Unless you’re sharing?”

“Would it matter if I said no? You just gon’ wait ‘til I’m sleep and crawl in anyway.”


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